Tell me about PRIDE

By Mohammad Taha

Tell me about PRIDE.

Not the rainbow kind.

Though the rainbow kind is as sweet as Tennessee whiskey.

You know the kind of pride that runs through you like blood.

Pride that fills you and hollows you out.

Pride that would have you and I walk during the day head up high.

Like the Queen of Sheba untouched by weapons of hurt.

The same pride that makes you feel hollow at night as you weep;

For you;

For me;

For this world.

One creation with opposing forces.

Opposing outcomes.

Simultaneous.

Uncomplicated and complicated.

You know the one.

So don’t fret.

That irreplaceable residing sorrow;

And that passing joy.

It’s just

pride.

Not the rainbow kind.

Though the rainbow kind is as smooth as strawberry wine.

Tell me about PRIDE.



What colour it is?

(If you are reading this to someone ask this question and look into their eyes. I’m not sure what you’ll find but you’ll know them and love them a little bit more)

There is a right answer.

Pride is black.

As black as the heart of creating before it all began.

As black as the darkest night that protects those of us who seek sanctuary.

I’ll say it again.

Pride is black.

That relentless will

for hope

for life.

Plural lives becoming singular.

A singular life uniting.  

Timeless unity.

Unconditional and through the ages.

Unity that does not forget.

They burn my sister.

They burn my sister and think I worry for my life.

That I learnt my lesson.

That I Know my place.

I will jump in the fire for my sister.

We will burn

together;

Or I will burn the cross you erected with your falseness.

This kind of pride.

The black kind.


Tell me about PRIDE.

What does it feel like?

(If you are reading this to someone ask permission to touch their face. Ask them to close their eyes first. Put your hands on their face and watch their heart and vulnerability unfold. I am not sure what you’ll see but this I promise. You’ll know them and love them a little bit more)

Pride feels like the first time.

The first time you

tell the truth of your heart.

The first time you

Danced in the rain.

The first time you

looked in the mirror to say sacred words.

I am queer;

I am trans;

I am beloved.

The first time you

heard a melody to take you home.

Nina sang me to my home.

For my love is like;

The wind.

And wild is the wind.

The first time you

loved someone;

And to your surprise they loved you too.

When your eyes met and your hearts sang.

Holiness is upon us.

Holiness this world has never seen.

When your lips touched

and you knew.

You are truly done for.

When your body and the body of your beloved move as one.

For a little while your dreams were their dreams.

Your breath was;

Their breath.

Your heart beat was;

Their heart beat.

The first time you walk alone at night.

UNAFRAID.

The first time you die and you’re free at last.


Tell me about PRIDE.

What does it sound like?

(If you are reading this to someone. Close your eyes and ask them to hum their favourite tune. Tell them that you’ll close your eyes. They are safe and beloved. I’m not sure what you’ll hear but you will know them and love them a little bit more)

Pride sounds like your hearts;

Your songs;

Chants;

Cries;

laughters;

Your joyousness;

Your sorrow.

Your moan and whisper in the dark.

So tell me about pride.

I’ll tell you about pride.

And for one moment we will become one.

We will become one;

And I will know you and love you a little bit more.

About Dr. Mohammad Taha

Dr Mohammad Taha (They/The) is the co-chair of the Victorian chapter of Queers in Science, a researcher at the Melbourne School of Engineering and a non-binary queer person of colour.

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